As long as I can remember I’ve been a very logical person. It’s almost surprising to me that I’ve chosen a career as an artist. Part of the logistical side of my brain (left brain) comes from a family of “logicians.” Now these aren’t personalities driven by logic that happen to make magic. These lovely people that make up my person (and I love them to death), are composed of the fabric that runs this world: logic. Logic conducts business, fear, and for some people it drives their career and whole person.
I don’t fault the world or my family for following the path of logic. It comforts us, gives us a sense of belonging, and at the end of the day it makes you sleep easier. Logic is a 9-5 job. The equation would be: work a job that pays you ‘x’ so you can support ‘y.’ Logic can be and most likely is monotonous. We create drama or try and break the monotony by strictly following logic – if we don’t accomplish ‘b’ by the process of ‘c’ then we bare down on the stress and the circular path that leads us back to x=y.
I love logic. I’m powered by logic yet I pursue creativity. I relish dressing up like someone else and emoting through song to accomplish… I don’t know what it does logically. Over the past 5 plus years I’ve been driven by logic so much so that I question my creativity. Is it valid? Is it meaningful? Will it pay me ‘x’ so I can support ‘y’?
This is where I pursue my art. This is where I ignore the logic and create something. Yes, something. It may not be profound, beautiful, or one of a kind, but I’m chasing after what I believe to be the right path for me. The creative, lesser road; leaning into what may fail and what may not give me ‘x’. Why? Creating is giving back and that is where I feel most alive.